Adage #13: Find the beauty in the breakdown.

I’ve had a bit of a rough year, ever have one of those? There were a lot of changes - some good and some bad. Someday I will look back at this year and instead of considering it a waste of time, I will see that I was able to embrace the lessons I was learning and praise God despite things not going according to plan.




There’s a song by Frou Frou called “Let Go.” Here's how the chorus goes:
“So, let go, let go
Jump in
Oh well, what you waiting for?
It's all right
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown
So, let go, let go
Just get in
Oh, it's so amazing here
It's all right
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown.”

This year I learned to find beauty in the breakdown. This is not to say that there were not a lot of good moments in my life this year because there were many of them! But I also found myself experiencing types of sorrow I had never dealt with before. And in the midst of crying in my car while listening to a sad song on the radio, I learned to find the beauty in it all. Beauty in the process of mending a broken heart. Beauty in watching God unfold a plan he’s had for all eternity. Beauty in the journey of being a human being. Beauty in learning to love others first. Beauty in the community God provided me with. Beauty in finding God in everything and all around me.

Where have you found God’s beauty recently?

Soundtrack:
Frou Frou - Details

Adage #12: Learn to make coffee so well you can do it in your sleep.

My wonderful co-worker and friend, Laura, gets annoyed with me when she tries to have a conversation in the morning with me, but I am too tired to know what's going on. After waking up for 3 years before 6am (to work at a coffee place, nonetheless), one would think I could handle being fully aware of my surroundings by 8:30am, but this is not the case.

Yesterday I came into the office and after unsuccessfully trying to hold a normal conversation with Laura, she considerately suggested that I should make some coffee before I attempted to talk with her again. I then spent 15 minutes in the kitchen trying to figure out how much coffee to make. Here is the internal conversation I had with myself:

"Where is the measuring spoon?"

This took me approximately 3 minutes to locate. Mind you, you can hardly fit two people in this kitchen, so there were not a whole lot of places for the measuring spoon to be.

"Now how many tablespoons of coffee do I put per cup of water?"

"If I put 6 tablespoons, then I need 3 cups of water..."

"But wait, 3 cups of water will make 3 cups of coffee and that won't even fill up my mug!"

At this point, my mind thinks 3 cups = 3 ounces.

"So if I put 10 tablespoons of coffee in the filter, I will need 5 cups of water which will equal 5 ounces of coffee and that's less than a cup of coffee which is 8 ounces."

I had this part of the conversation for a couple of minutes, using different tablespoon amounts to try and end up with a full cup of coffee.

"How in the world do people successfully make this stuff everyday! You have to use so much coffee to get one little mug of it. 12 tablespoons is a lot to get just 6 ounces of coffee. How can this be right!?"

"Ugh, I don't know!"

At this point, I preceed to stop counting any sort of measurement and just dump coffee and water into the coffee pot.

After 15 mintues in the kitchen, I emerge:

Laura: "So, you were in there for a while."

Me: "I know, wasn't I!? I had a really rough time making coffee this morning."

Laura: "Did you figure it out?"

Me: "I'm not really sure, we'll find out when it's done."

Adage #11: Stop for the surprises in your life.

My dad, sister and I had just spent the whole day traveling from Los Angeles to London. I think we arrived at our hotel around 7PM. We unloaded our stuff, grabbed some dinner and started wandering around. We stumbled upon a nice looking town square with some fountains and decided to sit and do some people watching.

We sat down on the edge of a fountain and looked up to see a tall statue of a man with four lions at the base. It was then that my dad realized that we were in Trafalgar Square, a place he looked for every time he was in London, but hadn’t been able to find.

It’s funny how often we end up stumbling upon things on accident. Places we could never find when we were looking for them. While driving around Spokane, I often stumble upon interesting places that I can never find again when I’m purposely looking for them. I can never seem to find the particular article of clothing I am shopping for, but when I go without a purpose, I find tons of stuff. When I am looking for God to do something specific in my life, He does something I wasn’t planning on.

So when you find unexpected things, take a minute and pause there. Enjoy it because who knows when you will find again!

Adage #10: The best part of traveling to Europe is the Kinder Eggs.

Seriously, that's not a joke. These might just be my favorite part of going to Europe and I have managed to find them every time I've gone over there. They are hollow, egg-shaped chocolates (milk chocolate on the outside and white chocolate on the inside) that have a little toy on the inside.

The anticipation of what toy you are going to get beats any Happy Meal toy ever. Maybe it's because things are just better when they are not allowed in the US (I think it's because little kids can choke on the toy found inside). Maybe it's because you have to hunt around for a while before you can find them (they're everywhere in the winter, but a lot harder to track down the rest of the year). On this trip, I couldn't find them until half way through at a random little shop in the countryside of Bavaria.

So if you find yourself in Europe, make sure you buy a Kinder Sorpresa, Kinder Surprise, or Kinder Überraschung.

Adage #9: Make sure to leave your glass slipper on the stairs before you leave the party.

I have loved the story of Cinderella since I was a little girl. It is the only movie I can tolerate watching over and over and over. I will watch any version of it I can get my hands on, no matter how cheesy it might be. So when my sister, my dad and I talked about what we would go see while on our trip to Europe this May, I only had one request: to see the “Cinderella Castle” (Neuschwanstein) outside of Munich. This castle inspired Walt Disney and it did not disappoint, the place looked like it was straight from a fairy-tale.

The castle was built by “Mad King Ludwig.” He built some gorgeous castles - these castles he dreamt up were not your run of the mill. They are everything you think of when you think fairy tales and princes and Disney movies. But Ludwig never finished Neuschwanstein Castle and never got the chance to begin construction on his next castle project because he was arrested for being an unfit king.

Ludwig was too caught up on building his magical castles to care about running Bavaria, . His whole story is very interesting and his death is shrouded in mystery (check out the links above for more info). As my sister and I were taking in all this information while on a tour of two of his castles, it occurred to me that Ludwig got so caught up in the magic of other people’s stories that he never lived his own. He built a castle based on Versailles because he wanted his own version and Neuschwanstein was based on the music of Wagner. He had the power to do incredible things as the king of Bavaria, but instead he chose to build castles and ignore what was happening in his kingdom.

I love stories: telling stories, hearing other people’s stories, and watching stories unfold on TV shows, in movies and in books. The life of King Ludwig reminds us that we can’t get caught so much in the fantasy of other people's stories that we forget how to live our own out. You are in the middle of an incredible story. You might be in the part where the characters are being introduced, maybe you’re building up to the big battle or maybe you’ve just won a huge victory. But you’re story coincides with The Story, the one God started in the Garden of Eden and ends with eternity (which is more of a beginning than an ending).

What are you doing right now to live out your own story?



Suggested reading:
A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller
To Be Told by Dan Allender

Adage #8: It's true, patience is a virtue.

The other day after work, I was driving to my friend Kym’s house. I got on the freeway onramp and was greeted by a traffic jam. Spokane traffic jams aren’t close to what I’ve been stuck in while in LA, and yet I found myself annoyed and impatient. So I decide to get off the freeway and go another route.

This backfired on me pretty quickly. The off ramp I chose was in a part of town I am not very familiar with so I was just sort of guessing where to go next. I found myself somewhere I recognized but misjudged my lane choice. And there I was, getting on the same onramp I had started on 15 minutes before and sitting in the same traffic. I was too busy trying to figure it out my way, that I just ended up wasting gas and taking even longer.

I often try to take shortcuts and go my own way. I’m pretty stubborn and I refuse to ask for directions - whether they are from the guy working at a gas station or from God. But in the end, I usually end up getting to my destination with a lot more heartache because I decided to do it my own way instead of God’s.

 Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
      do not depend on your own understanding.
 Seek his will in all you do,
      and he will show you which path to take.
Proverbs 3:5-6

It will probably take me a lifetime to figure this out. The bad news is that I will probably repeat something like that freeway incident next week. The good news is that I’ve progressed a little bit in patience: if this had happened a couple of years ago, I would have gotten off the freeway a second time and repeated that whole process at least one more time.

Summer Adventures in Spokane: Lind Combine Derby

This might have been the best experience I’ve had so far this summer and I’m a little worried it won’t be topped. Laura Arner and I hopped into her car and took a mini road trip to the Lind Combine Demolition Derby last weekend. Basically, people take their wheat combines, paint them and then go after each other until they either lose the header in the front or lose their steering which is in the back.

We weren’t totally sure where it was and the directions were vague. They said to get off exit 220 at Ritzville and take the Lind exit about a mile to the arena. I was somewhat concerned that we would not be able to find the arena. This was one of those times that I overestimated eastern Washington. As we entered Lind, we saw were cars and RVs everywhere, it looked like the town had been turned into a giant parking lot.

In case you are wondering this arena is nothing like the Spokane Arena. There were probably 10 or so bleachers ranging from grand stands to that-looks-like-it-might-collapse-at-any-minute stands around a pretty small dirt arena. Apparently, this is a much bigger event than we expected; it took us a good 15 minutes to find a spot because the place was packed.

It was well worth the trip. Who can go wrong watching things being destroyed? We were also surprised at the diversity of people attending the event. There were some rednecks as expected, but there was also a large population of Harley-lovers and quite a large group of seemingly totally normal people. I even saw a few people I recognized from Spokane.

I can’t describe fully in words how great this event was, so consider this your formal invitation to join Laura and I next year for the 25th anniversary.

Adage #7: Never underestimate the power of sticky notes to help you organize.

In an effort to be more organized at work, I devised what I think to be a brilliant plan. I started to prioritize what needs to get done by using numbered sticky notes. I end up with a lot of paper on my desk throughout the day, so this allows me to keep focused on the most important things. I love lists, so I made a little pros and cons list of my new system:

Pro: Save time so I don’t have to pull all the papers out and figure out what I should do next, I have already decided that.
Con: Sometimes I find something I need to do after I’ve applied my sticky note system and then I have to move all sorts of stuff around. I devised a decimal point system to help out.

Pro: Allows me time in the morning to figure out my plan for that day which translates into less time where I feel like I’m running around with my head cut off.
Con: The sticky notes have begun to lose their stickiness. I had not really anticipated losing track of my priorities because the sticky note fell off in the middle of the day. Today I discovered I had three sticky notes with the number “3” on them because I thought I had lost them due to the unstickiness.

Pro: I get to excitedly explain my brilliant plan with friend and co-worker Laura and how this will revolutionize the way I get work done.
Con: Laura tries to be a supportive friend by pretending to like my brilliant sticky note priority system, She then changes the subject to what kind of dog should she get so she doesn’t have to fake interest for too long before falling asleep from boredom.

Summer Adventures in Spokane: ArtFest

ArtFest is in Browne’s Addition every year. I’ve been once before when my mom was in town and it was a lot of fun, so I forced Laura B. to come along with me this year. We didn’t last too long, but it was fun to people watch, be out in the sun for a while and see how creative people are. I love events like this because they bring out people in Spokane I had no idea existed here.

Next on the agenda: Laura A. and I are headed to the apparently world famous combine derby in Lind tomorrow. Who doesn’t want to see giant farm equipment being destroyed?

West Shore Promo

Here's the video for West Shore - what an amazing day!

Adage #6: Don't let your insecurity replace your identity.

Boys don’t understand girls. Girls don’t understand other girls. Girls don’t even understand themselves. “I don’t even know why I did that. I have no idea why I’m feeling this way.” Those are words I often hear myself and my friends say. It’s risky to put a bunch of girls in a room together for more than 5 minutes. That’s exactly what I did last week at West Shore - a one-day event for girls 11-24 (huge props to Emily Lewellyn’s willingness to follow God’s vision for this and all the females who put tons of work in!).

Here’s what I noticed: girls are insecure. This may not be a shock to you, especially if you spend any time at all with teenagers, but the way insecurities penetrate who we are should shock you. C.S. Lewis said that pride is the beginning of all sin. I think insecurity holds a close second. Insecurities fuel criticism of others, they led us to do things we regret later because we thought they would make us feel better, they plant seeds of self-doubt in our minds. As I talked with girls during West Shore, I began to pick up on this theme of insecurity. It came in many different forms: bragging, shyness, criticism, sarcastic remarks and a thousand other ways.

My good friend, Emmily Ocker, taught the session on identity. She told a story about an insecurity she had just recently encountered and I wrote down something she said, “My insecurity shows my lack of identity.” God has created you and when you become insecure in God’s creation (you), you miss out on your whole identity. That blows my mind. Identity is who we are, Emmily described it as, “the sense of who you are as a person.” God created you to be compassionate, but your insecurity leads you to tear others down. God created you to have a talent to share with others, but your insecurity leads you to hide it. God created you to make a difference, but your insecurity paralyzes you in fear. God created you with all the care and love in the world and your insecurity blinds you from that very care and love.

I’ve been quick to tell you that I saw insecurity in others, but I saw it in myself as well. During the beauty session with the senior high students, one of the ladies leading the group talked about how we need to learn to take compliments instead of feeling insecure about them (this is only one among many wise points they gave us). After maturing a little and praying a lot, I’ve become pretty secure in who God has created me to be. But Satan is sneaky and here’s what happened 10 minutes before the session leader said that particular thing: we were instructed to give a physical compliment to the person sitting to the right of us, that sounds great, right?

I was on the end and no one was on my left to give me a compliment (nope, we haven’t made it to the insecure part, yet). The student sitting on my right, whom I had never met before, asked if she could give me one since there was no one next to me. I was expecting something about my hair because that’s what people usually comment on, but what she said was: “I like your eyebrows” (bam - there it is!).

You’re going to need a little history for this: When I was in 7th grade, I pulled all my of eyelashes out. There were a lot of things going on in my life at that time and just how eating disorders are often about control, so was pulling out my eyelashes. I’ve shared that story with quite a few people, but what I haven’t told most is that I also pulled a lot of my eyebrows out in 7th grade. The eyelashes grew back and it’s not that big of a deal anymore. My eyebrows all grew back, too, but for some reason I am still incredibly insecure about them. I don’t even like when people say the word “eyebrow” in fear that someone will look at mine and find something horribly wrong with them.

I allowed that very genuine comment from the girl sitting next to me to create insecurity. I heard what the session leader was saying, but I let Satan yell over her, I was too occupied with my insecurity. Guess what one insecurity leads to? More insecurities. It doesn’t take much for an insecurity about a small thing to blow up into a giant insecurity about who you are, why you were created, what you were created for. The only way to overcome that insecurity is to surrender it to God, even if it might seem a little silly sometimes. I might have to wake up everyday and say, “God, you created me and that means you created my eyebrows, too, they are a part of Your plan.”

I want to leave you with the same question Emmily asked us in her session: What is holding you back from your identity in God? I want to add to that, what insecurities are holding you back from your identity?

Summer Adventures in Spokane: Bloomsday

Despite my threats to leave Spokane in the midst of winter, Spokane is a pretty cool place to be in the summer. I’m not even really sure whom these threats are directed to - the city of Spokane? my tiny car? my collection of winter coats? innocent bystanders? Since I have not made good on these threats any of the past 8 winters, I think it’s safe to say they are pretty empty promises. This is because when winter ends, summer is right around the corner and summer is so good, I forget about my threats of moving back to California where it is warm all the time.

Now that I have weekends off, I have decided it’s time to make the most of being in Spokane during the summer. I fully intend to try to make it to every event the area has to offer me. So if you know of any that I’m missing, let me know! Or better yet, invite me to come along with you!

Bloomsday is a big race held every year in Spokane - it’s kind of a big deal. Every year, I slightly entertain the idea of participating and then I forget about it until I’ve missed the deadline to enter. This year was no different. But Kevin ran it, so I went downtown with Serena and Lily to drop Kevin off and then hang out for a little while.

I’ve never even been down there during the event, so it was really fun to be around the atmosphere. Serena, Lily and I went to the finish line to watch the elite runners finish. It was surprising how little people were watching with us, but it was amazing to see some of the world’s best runners in person.

Then we went down to Riverfront Park to walk around all the vendors and such. We found a mini-donut stand and what better way to celebrate other people being physically active then eating unhealthy snacks! While standing in line, I ran into one of my friends’ parents from the west side (the Beauchamps) and got a chance to catch up with them.

Overall, it was great to at least get to see what happens during Bloomsday. Next year the goal is to actually participate (preferably in some sort of ridiculous costume) and throw a sweatshirt on to a tree.

Some upcoming events I plan on participating in:

1. ArtFest is next weekend in Browne’s Addition, anyone want to go?

2. There is a Combine Derby in Lind on June 11th. My former roommate, Laura, invited me. I believe her exact words were something like: “I was trying to think of someone who would do random crap with me. Like who would drive two hours to see a combine derby with me? Alissa!” I almost cut her off because I was already enthusiastically raising my hand (even though it was a phone conversation) and saying, “I’m in, I’m in!” I’m so predictable.

Adage #5: Democracy wins...sometimes.

When I was 10, I made the decision that our family needed to vote for a president. I'm guessing this idea came from a combination of learning about the government at school along with being the first born (which gives me a natural desire to control others and be bossy, of course).

Someone needed to run family meetings and I was perfect for the job; although, the Adams family president would really just be a pawn of the monarchy (mom and dad). In my 10-year-old power-hunger mind, this is how I would really get to control my younger sister and make her do everything I wanted her to do. Being the "family president" would be the unbeatable trump card and she would be forced to give in.

They were excellent parents, so they sniffed out my ulterior motives for this vote. My dad felt bad for my sister (who wouldn't?, I was a dictator) and voted for her, hoping my mom had voted for me, resulting in a tie and everyone could just walk away, no feelings hurt.

Not the way it worked out. My sister won because my mom had thought the very same thing. In defeat, I saw all my power melting away. Now I would have to be the one to give in to my younger sibling's every whim. So I stormed off and never spoke of a family vote again.

Moral of the story: If any of your children ever suggest voting for a family president, suggest everyone go for ice cream instead.

Adage #4: You can catch more bees with honey, but you need newspaper to get a wasp.

I am terrified of bees. I have never been stung by one and I will avoid this event from occurring in my life at all costs. I am that crazy person who flails all over the place while trying to get away from this winged creature with a stinger (which is a privilege I don’t think they should have). I flinch at any buzzing sound that could possibly be a bee, I get up from any table I’m sitting at outside and run inside, I squeal and sometimes I duck my head and just hope it will go away.

The other morning I woke up and was going through my usual morning routine. As I was walking into my bathroom, I noticed a shadow on my shower curtain. It slowly dawned on me that this was a wasp. This was a big problem, how was I going to shower before work? I thought maybe I could grab my shampoo and body wash and take my shower in the downstairs bathroom. But then I would still have to move the shower curtain to obtain these items and surely the wasp would not like to be disturbed and he would come after me. I thought maybe I could try and get rid of him, but I would probably miss and then he would get mad at me and sting me in the eyeball multiple times, blinding me forever.

In every scenario I could come up with, I ended up getting stung. I thought that would be a terrible way to start the day, so I just didn’t shower.

I came home later on in hopes that the insect had found his way out. Nope, he sure hadn’t. “This is it,” I thought, “I’m never going to be able to shower again.” After a few minutes of deliberation, I knew I had to get rid of him because it wouldn’t take long for people to notice a smell when I walked past them. So I got someone else to get rid of the wasp for me (thanks Serena).

I’ve never been much of a risk taker. It’s okay to be cautious, it’s kept me alive so far, so that’s a positive. But what am I limiting myself from doing by being so afraid to take a risk? I was prepared to let that wasp take over my bathroom and start a colony if he wanted to because I was too afraid of him. What else in my life have I given up on because it seemed impossible to accomplish?

Philippians 4:13 “For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.”

Adage #3: Take an art class.

When I was home at Christmas, my family played a game that was kind of a cross of Pictionary and Apples-to-Apples. You pick a card and everyone draws what the card says like "vacation" or "rabbit". After everyone has drawn their picture you pick another card that says something like "prettiest" or "most likely to be mistaken for real art" and everyone votes on who's drawing best fits that phrase (without knowing which drawing belongs to who). Here are some of the highlights, let me warn you, we're not a super artistic family.

Breakfast in bed.

This is the scariest looking baby I have ever seen.

We were supposed to draw "school". I'm not sure how well you can see this, but 3 of these look pretty normally, but take a closer look at the 3rd picture - my sister drew this (the only one in school right now).

"Chickens crossing the road":
1. The picture on top is mine, the one on the bottom is my mom's, can you guess who I learned to draw from?
2. Somehow I also learned from my mom that when drawing chickens, they have 4 legs instead of 2.

Which do you think it is?

The Adams family interprets "horse".

I am offended.

If this won for Art Teacher's Pet, you can only imagine how beautiful the rest of our drawings were.

Adage #2: Keep memorials.

My mom is a wise woman. A while ago, she and I were talking on the phone about the big changes in my life. She told me that I needed to remember, to keep a memorial of what God did. I stepped out in faith to follow Him and He made things happen. I asked Him to speak to me and He gave me clear instructions.

It seemed scary at the time, but I had a job to fall back on and a place to live for free. My mom said to keep that memory, because there might come a day where God tells me to do something in faith and I won’t have practical things to fall back on. But I can look back and see that He took care of me once and He will continue to take care of me.

Joshua 4:6-7 - We will use these stones to build a memorial. In the future your children will ask you, ‘What do these stones mean?’ Then you can tell them, ‘They remind us that the Jordan River stopped flowing when the Ark of the Lord’s Covenant went across.’ These stones will stand as a memorial among the people of Israel forever.”

I was pretty sure if I set up a pile of rocks on Division, they would get knocked down, so I wrote it down in my journal and I tell people it often so I remember that He is much bigger than I.

What kind of memorials do you have?

Adage #1: Planning is overrated.

I'm a planner, I’ve always had a plan. It’s genetic, I have family trip itineraries to prove it. Spontaneous people have always scared me and awed me all at the same time. I’ve secretly wanted to be spontaneous for while because I think these people are on to something.

When it comes to making plans about my life, it’s stressful. Recently, I’ve been praying a lot about what God has in store for me. When I’ve tried to make a plan, He stops me and says, “That’s your plan, Alissa, not mine, just slow down there.” God’s just giving me little steps to follow, day by day, week by week. He hasn’t revealed some giant story-arc that’s going to keep viewers interested for the duration of my TV show; I’m no LOST with a plan of how this whole thing’s going to turn out in the end. God hasn’t even clued me in to what’s going to happen in this season’s finale. He’s given me a 30 second preview of what’s coming next week. And I’m okay with that, maybe it’s because those 30 seconds that come after the TV show I just spent an hour watching are my favorite part - a promise of what’s to come without revealing too much.